Shruthi’s story
I don’t even know where to begin with this story of mine, purely because of the sheer duration of time that I’ve been dealing with this. It started when I began using the MTC bus service to go to school everyday. Despite taking a bus at 7.30am, the route was very crowded and was filled with plenty of groping men. In fact, it seemed to me then, that those were the only types around.
It was very upsetting and back then, very shameful. I didn’t know who to talk to about this. I mean, from my point of view, I was doing nothing wrong or provocative. But my presence was enough to incite this activity toward me. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, because it seemed to me that there were a lot of women like me, suffering silently.
As I grew older, I decided to take things into my own hands. I got a little more brash while travelling by bus. I pushed, shoved, elbowed, and yelled my way through the 10-minute bus ride from home to school. I remember a bus ride back from school. Term exams were on and we all left early. The bus back was very empty and there were maybe five other people standing. I noticed someone stand very close to me and he kept exaggeratedly leaning whenever the bus turned. He did it once, and I let it go, I thought he had trouble balancing himself. He did it again, I let it go. The third time, however, I pushed him and his fall was not exggerated.
That’s when some passengers noticed and one of the older women sitting down gave me her seat. Of course, he was not happy that a school girl pushed him. Nor was he happy that people took notice of it and sided with me. He got off the bus a couple of stops after and I reached home without any further incidents.
After that incident, I was a lot more confident about dealing with the groping variety. Despite my new-found bravado, an overcrowded bus was one place I was utterly helpless in. I still am utterly helpless on an overcrowded bus.
There are times when I feel that there is nothing much you can do, but I don’t see the point in women resigning themselves to being harassed.
I don’t understand why proactive steps are not being taken towards making public transport the one public space where people can travel without the fear of being harassed. I know for a fact that going to the police with a harassment complain will only yield one result, you’ll get blamed.
It’s ridiculous that women choose silence. It’s ridiculous that the very same silence is justified with “what’s the point?”
I know that harassment won’t stop, but if there is something to be done about it, now is as good a time as any to begin!
2 Responses
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Shruthi,MTC allows male & female passengers to board and exit in both the doors. May be this kind of problem can be reduced by allowing male passenger to board and exit at the rear door of the bus and female passenger in the front door.and reserver fornt half to female and rear half to male passengers.I think this is case in most of the other states.
Dear Deepak,
while your suggestion is perhaps well intentioned, it misses the point. problem is NOT the same or separate doors for entry; problem is those men and boys who think that it is ok to be indulgent of such despicable behavior, and get away with it; because, we as a society accept, expect and tolerate that behavior.
What happens on these bus journey; sorry to say, speaks about the basic mentality that we as a society live with and have come to accept. I myself growing up and travelling on those very same buses have observed such and even more aggressive male behavior almost every day, and yet, never had the courage or the need to stand up to such behavior. Most many of us do is create solutions that help avoid that uneasy behavior. Giving away a seat for women to sit is surely desirable; and yet, i really wish, we as a society will rethink about our own values around gender relations and etiquettes, me included.
anuj