Krithika’s story: they thought I was soliciting sex

Well, it isn’t the first time it’s happened – I’d be standing on the side of the road, tired after a late evening at work (once, even mid-afternoon actually) and suddenly a man would slow down his car, roll down his window and peep out expectantly, or another would drive by and ask how much. It takes me a minute to respond somehow and I’ve actually responded with a very unseemly “what?” every time, before realising that the men who stopped by thought I was soliciting sex, simply because I was standing on the curb, apparently doing nothing other than waiting.

So anyway, just last week, I had parked my car and was walking to a café nearby to meet someone, when I noticed this slightly middle aged man staring. I noticed him walk into the café too and sit quietly staring at his cup of coffee, during the 20 minutes I was there, but I am a bit slow with these things – and presumed ah well, I can’t connect dots here, the man was just heading the same direction, who’s to say or care? Then suddenly, as I was walking back to the car, I realised he was following me – when he finally caught up, he wanted to know if I’d like to “make some money?”

Thankfully, I am a lot quicker to understand this situation but I am just as slow at thinking on my feet when I am put in a situation like this. I blank out. I say no and walk away. But every time, as much as I know I should avoid the question, I ask myself whether it was something in my manner or clothes that attracted the attention. Why me? What would make a man simply watch me walking on the street or waiting and presume that I was out to have sex for money? Just as a disclaimer, I don’t mean sex for money is a degrading thing, it’s a subjective matter or personal opinion, but the fact that a man can look at me and presume anything of me as a woman, is disturbing.

Because of course, I’ve never known what else to do. A friend says I should have called the police, I know another who actually got two middle-aged men who asked her this question (in mid-day, in a busy main road) in trouble with a cop, who happened to be standing nearby. But me, each time this has happened, I always belatedly wish that I had said or done something smarter than just walk away.

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2 Responses

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  1. adarsh says:

    krithika,
    you are good girl,it happens to all the girls everywhere in india and i like the way but u could have been rough or beat him with chappal,but sometimes this may get back to problems.so the way you have done is also good.thanks..really girls are there in this world who want to be genuine to their husbands only.i appreciate u like anything and i really like you.simply FANTASTIC.
    BUT stupids idiots and cheaters are always out doing these things.

  2. solomon says:

    dressing or they way u look doesn’t matter these guys are coward so they try to corner gals who look depressed r who appear as if they are not bold so y call police rather than ur facial gesture should show that if they come near u they are doomed so none of those guys will not come to u in those mentality

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